Can I just start off by saying....
oh . my . god .
What an AMAZING night. Honestly, I was absolutely glued to the tv from 7pm until 1am. Half a jar of salsa, half a bag of tostitoes, and half a tub of icecream later, I was BLISSFULLY happy with the way the evening went. I couldn't have been more excited if I had of been there.
ok.. well that's a lie. but you know what I mean.
Where do I even begin?
Red Carpet 2009:
One of many, many Golden Girls last night. Freida Pinto. Simply. Irressistable. This dress was GORGE.
Robert Downey Jr. Where do I begin? I was never really a fan of you. I didn't see Iron Man : apparently I should have and apparently you were awesome in it, for this please forgive me. Your crazy sex addiction aside, you looked pretty darn good last night at the awards. Your wife? Gorgeous! I think it's obvious WHY you're always thinking about sex.
Pennelope Cruz. One word. BEAUTIFUL. I loved her vintage dress.
Little Miley Buckteeth Cyrus. You know I don't like you. I honestly cringed when I saw the trailer to your latest movie last week. Speaking of which, your comment on the red carpet about how next year you hope to be at the Oscars for 'your' movie because it's going to blow everyone away and is actually very deep and TOTALLY Oscar worthy.
PLEASE. Go play Hannah Montana with Joe Jonas and get over it.
PS: I did love your dress. The press may have hated it. It may be on the Worst Dressed List. But I loved it. And so did Brittany Leeman. And really that's all that matters.
Judd Apatow. You are the director of all of my favorite funny movies and therefore you rock in my book. Your Pineaple Express creation for the show last night, left me in tears I laughed so hard.
I did not know you were married to Leslie Mann who is honestly, so underrated. She is hallarious in all of your movies and I love love love her. You two are cute. Kthx.
Beyonce. I do not like you, nor have I ever. You did not help matters by wearing a curtain to the Oscars. That is all.
Robert Pattinson. I love you. You were dead sexy last night. I saw that you did not have a date. Why did you not call me? I had the perfect Valentino dress and everything.
Let the Show Begin.....
I will try to be as brief as possible. I apologize because knowing me. It will be the farthest thing from brief.
Hugh Jackman - you done done done me. and by that I mean you rocked. Anne Hathaway, I did not know you can sing. You blew me away. Please keep singing. Kthx.
How beautiful was the set this year? Honestly! So elegant.
Jen : Did you see the looks Angie was giving me? Bitch was fierce.
John : I did. I did. Can we go make love like I describe in one of my million songs now?
Jen : Ok but did you see Brad totally wanting to boink me again because I haven't popped twenty gazillion babies out of me?
John : I did. Now let's go make love. I'll never let your head hit the pillow without my hand behind it.
First of all. The camera cutting to Angelina and Brad when Jen was presenting pretty much MADE my night. Angelina throwing her head back laughing and smiling. Seriously? Jen Aniston is SO much hotter than you. Get over it.
Wall-E winning Best Animated Film only confirmed what I already know. I have to watch this movie. I'm just not looking forward to crying through the whole thing cause I totally will.
Best Makeup. *coughs* excuse me? Did you not see The Dark Knight and how Heath Ledger looked scary and not sexy? Yes. You only made Brad Pitt look old. That's not that hard, is it?
Rob Pattinson presenting? *flails* Did I mention how much I love you? Also how much it excited me that they showed Twilight like 3 times in the Romance montage.
Speaking of Rob. Thank you to whoever did the seating chart for last night and putting him behind Mickey Rourke in the 2nd row which meant seeing him ALL the time. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.
Ben Stiller. You crack me up. I love you. Joaquin Phoenix take note. We don't like the retired you, please come back to your normal hotness.
Jessica Biel. Get a hairdresser & a stylist.
Pineaple Express Sketch. oh. my. god. Not only is this one of my favorite movies, I never in a million years expected ANY mention of it at the Oscars. This pretty much made my night [on top of Jen getting snarked at by Angie and Rob being sexy behind Mickey Rourke]
Heath Ledger. You deserved it. So proud of you. I cried like a baby.
Some may have asked where my least favorite person in the world was last night. Tom Cruise. My response to that is 'Tom Cruise realized not only did his movie suck but he's basically an idiot.'
The rest of the night from Sound Mixing on pretty much turned into Slumdog Millionaire night. Bam. Bam. Bam. I was NOT complaining!
Kate Kate Kate. I love you so much. But why was your 'real' lover not there to see you win? *cough* Leonardo *cough*. You looked gorgeous. I highly think this will not be your last 'shampoo bottle.'
Sean Penn. I am happy for you. I wanted Mickey Rourke to win because his dog died and I felt bad for him but I'm glad you took home the gold and your speech was wonderful. I cried. So thx for that.
LASTLY, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. So so SOOOO excited. Ok so that picture was technically Danny Boyle winning Best Director. Oops. But I'm sure THAT was your similar reaction to your movie winning Best Picture. If you have not seen this movie, please go see ASAP. It's truly magnificent.
And that my dear friends, was me being 'brief'. Atleast the Oscars are only once a year. I could have gone on for hours about how truly great this years show was. Even Oprah today said that she has been watching the awards since she was 10 and this was by far the best year yet. I will be *squeeing* about it for days to come.
So until next year - when I'm sure Hannah Montana will be up for Best Picture - thats it for Oscar Post 2009!
My future adopted children most likely playing BrickBreaker on the Bberry at the Vanity Fair party. Or texting Miley Cyrus pictures back to Mumbai.
Lastly, because I loved it so so so much.