Thursday, May 20, 2010

My public service announcement to anyone that has NOT read Water for Elephants

Alright. I realize most of you probably haven't read Water for Elephants. Up until a month ago, I hadn't read Water for Elephants. And up until a month ago, I hadn't even heard of Water for Elephants.

But now my friends, I am THAT much wiser and my life has been made THAT much richer because I have read it and holy mother of God.


is absolutely WONDERFUL

I'm not a huge reader. At no point in my life - other than when the Goosebumps, Sweet Valley High, and Babysitters Club copies were published regularly, so like a hundred years ago - have I EVER been an avid reader.

The fact that I read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse during a two week time span is pretty freakin unbelievable.

I'm disgustingly picky about books that I will read. Seriously. Don't even try to recommend a book to me because unless it has smut or a devastating romance, I probably won't read it.

To be honest, I don't know how I made it through the first three Twilight books with no smut gratification until Breaking Dawn. And really - the whole

"Forever" he agreed, and then pulled us
gently into deeper water."

THAT was not smut. That was like maybe first base on the way to smut. But I'm hoping Bill Condon will make up for this disappointment in the actual movie.


Ok where was I?

Oh right - Water for Elephants.

I won't lie.

I read this book because I knew Rob was going to be in the movie based on the book. Except, I didn't go out and read Bel Ami. Or Harry Potter. Because Rob was in those movies.

So I maintain that my discovery of this book, while being partly due to Rob, had everything to do with the fact that it was just one of those books, much like Twilight, that I was meant to read. I didn't even know who Robert Pattinson was when I read Twilight. Then I found out and well, I became fit for a straight jacket the rest is history.

Here at Take me to bliss if there is one book I can convince you to read, please read Water for Elephants.

And even if you hate Rob what the hell is wrong with you

Or if you hate Reese Witherspoon. what do you hate puppies and kittens too?

Or if you hate Christoph Waltz. I get it, he played a Nazi.

Just read the book and never watch the movie because the book is beautiful.

AND if you do love Rob - well, you can thank me later because I bring you THIS:


Random Fact:
I have a weakness for men with horses.

I dont even miss your fuckhawt hair anymore.
Because THAT hair is fuckhawt.

Dear Rob
Can you and Walter be besties in real life please?

you're tired. I know.
Stewie kept you up last night, didn't she?

And because she's one of my favorite actresses of all time. The beautiful Reese arriving on set!

If your 'Marlena' is anything like your 'June Carter'
I will probably die and go to heaven.
Just sayin

Water for Elephants: READ IT. You won't be sorry. And if you are, I will let you throw me off the tressels. Which will only make sense if you read it, so get on that.

[A/N I started a tumblr. I have absolutely NO idea what I'm doing. I have yet to really figure anything out. BUT I'm using it. So if you would like to check it out, please do! And to ALL of you who commented on the last post (including some new faces) WELCOME and THANK YOU. Comments and followers make blogging rewarding. Much more rewarding than Edward and Bella's first time description in the book. Or lack there of. Goes deeper into the water... ]


Jayde said...

Um, LOVING the layout!! It looks awesome!
Also, I'm pretgy sure we're like, twins. I am SO picky about books. I have not read a new book since I read Twilight last Feb. Yes, it's been that long. And yes, devastating romance is a must. Or a fun, chick lit. They're always good. I can't read books with heavy subject matter, I just can't handle it. When I do read it's like I'm actually there, I can always vividly picture everything and I get so caught up in it that reading books that aren't fun just take their toll on me too much.
Also, WFE Rob is delish. W.A.Y. hotter than Darceyward.

Ashley said...

I like the layout! Did you upgrade to a paid account?

C r y s t a l said...

Jayde - you would probaby enjoy WFE. Its lighthearted and has a happy ending! My mom doesn't even read and she is reading it and loving it!

Ashley - no I didn't upgrade! Did that on my very own after lots of frigging with picnik!

Josée said...

LOVE the new layout!!...and Rob with his fuckhawt hair.

Anonymous said...

im SO glad you had a post about this book because i really want to read it and was looking for someone to tell me it was good so i didnt waste my time!

Anonymous said...

I bought the book yesterday, on your raving recomendation!!! Can't wait to start it. :)