Public Service Announcement - take me to bliss style

[Note: This post was intended to come out on Thursday night. For obvious reasons - and clearly divine intervention - a hailstorm of leaked photo epicness came crashing down onto us that day and I'm pretty sure NONE of us could form a proper sentence if our lives depended on it. And then maybe when we began to regain verbal skills - the VIDEO leaked. At this point, all intentions of posting were scratched until a later date when I - the blogger- could focus and you - faithful followers - could breathe again. Yes? Yes.]

It's been awhile eh? im canadian. i say 'eh' sometimes. #dontjudge

Did you know that when you google "Bad Blogger" this photo comes up?

I don't... I just...
I don't get whats going on here...

My last post was weeks ago when I was on what might be the most epic vacation of my life - two weeks in the amazing Hawaii.

There were FAR too many alcoholic tropical beverages. Boat loads of mahi mahi and ahi tuna. A volcanic eruption. Several sun burns. An earthquake. Some surfing injuries. A lot of turtles. The most amazing sunsets ever. A tsunami. You know - very typical features of most Hawaiian vacations.

Right?

Of course since returning, there has been the dreaded jetlag; a seven hour difference for an East Coaster such as myself. A shitload of hours at work; seven days straight in exchange for using less paid vacation to go away. Then I was basically dying of the common head cold; clearly I'm still alive.

BUT I'm back. AND so is a classic take me to bliss feature.

A
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

take me to bliss style

Reflections, Advice, and Warnings
Intended to Benefit the Public
Just Because.

Public Service Announcement #1

Experiencing a 4.5 Earthquake AND a Tsunami will make you cry over ALL the little things. Like ALL the time.

When you're sitting in a Japanese restaurant in Hawaii with your family and friends on vacation and you get a text like this:

yeah. THAT was real life.

... Shit gets KINDA scary. More on that later... But when the waves pass and the sun rises the next morning and you realize you were lucky - WATCH OUT. Because everything will now make you cry. Including sunsets. Like this one two days later.

also RL.

Public Service Announcement #2

The movie Cosmopolis will more than likely send women world-wide into heart failure.
Invest in a Defibrillator.

no words.

Public Service Announcement #3

Rob + Animals in a movie may be hazardous to your health.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B



Exhibit C

More reason to buy that defibrillator. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Public Service Announcement #4

Every woman should have a hot British boyfriend

I saw Red Riding Hood last week and I'm pretty sure Max Irons damn near killed me. Really Red Riding Hood? Explain to me why its SOOOO bad that you are engaged to him?

BITCH STOP COMPLAINING.

This movie made me realize how Team Jacob people feel all the time.

Basically, Max Irons + Emily Browning = my new favourite couple. Like WOAH.

Umm.
I can have that yes?

*dies*
there is a reason I only date men who are AT LEAST 6ft tall

Public Service Announcement #5

Speaking of hot British men - Water for Elephants will kill us all.
The Mayans should have predicted THAT.

you KNOW whats going down in THAT hotel room.

Public Service Announcement #6

Still speaking of hot British men - Alex Pettyfer is HAWT

Yes. I just saw Beastly.
No. I didn't think it was as horrible as I expected.
Dare I say it; I LIKED it.

AND

I know I'm late to the 'Alex Pettyfer is Hot' party
but THESE two were seriously cute.

LOVE

Public Service Announcement #7

Kristen Stewart was meant to play Snow White. Trust me.
I took a Delorean back in time and Nostradamus said so.

why even try to deny it?

Public Service Announcement #8

BUY the latest EW - just do it.

in my eyes
it damn well made up for Vanity Fair's Amish Stunt

AND lastly - if you take any of these announcements seriously, do yourself a HUGE favor and follow my advice on this next one. You will NOT be sorry.


Public Service Announcement #9

Read "Air" by Rochelle Allison
Like right now....

I don't quite remember where this story came from but I just know that one day it was suddenly opened in front of me and it's on my mind every day since.

Sometimes when you meet someone - you just know.

Thats how I feel about fanfiction. Sometimes you just open a story just because. You know nothing about it and you don't care. And then it consumes you because it's written brilliantly and you're suddenly making sure that everyone you know and love is also falling madly in love with it and simply experiencing it.

you owe it to yourself to experience
Air

Edward is twenty-nine. He owns a construction company. And he's totally subtly passionate.



Bella is nineteen. She is in college. She is hopelessly smitten.


I know some of you are squirming right now. A nineteen year old Bella. A twenty-nine year old Edward. Stop squirming. Read this. Then try to ignore the nervous squirming and leg crossing you will be doing as early as chapter four because I'm pretty sure thats about where I died.

Rochelle Allison is honestly one of my favorite authors in this crazy world of fanfiction. You may know her as the story-teller behind Starry Eyed Inside and if you don't; well after you're finished reading Air may I suggest you then experience SEI. It's complete. It's perfection.

Rochelle's writing sends you to whatever world and whatever age she is perfectly re-creating in your mind. It will make you long for those experiences. And her Edward and Bella are always so charming and raw - you'll take them with you long after you're finished reading.

Oh and did I mention she writes sex so good you'll be weak in the knees?

UNF

Right? You basically need to read this fic #assoonasfuckingpossible.

It began as a WitFit so it updated almost EVERY day [this totally fed my addiction] its only 19 quick read chapters of wickedness, and its COMPLETE. Which I'm still trying to get over. Honestly. This fic ending was like going through a miserable break up. TRUTH.

So yeah.
AIR
read it
then crave it like the air you breathe

[A/N: This is going to be a longer than usual Authors Note because I have a lot to be thankful for in this post....

First of all, I want to extend a huge, warm, THANK YOU, to EVERYONE who sent tweets, dm's, texts, FB messages, to me during the very scary ten hours on the night of March 1oth/morning of the 11th. I know that in this photo I look excited and/or happy....

If you know me, you know that I will force a smile in any situation, including while sitting in a kindergarden playground, two miles away from the shore where a tsunami wave is expected to hit our hotel in Hawaii. You will know that while sleeping on the ground, wrapped in towels and blankets while warning sirens go off, I will not complain. But what you may not know was how much every word, message, prayer, and thought meant to me and my family. Seriously. You are ALL amazing and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for it all.

apparently some guy "opened a bar" in that playhouse
sadly I only found out about this at the pool the next day
FAIL

secondly, to my lovely Kate - thank you for not only updating me when volcanos errupted (in a code word sense) but for actually warning me when tsunamis were headed towards us; in an actual real life holy shit sense. AND being my thesauraus when describing Edward in Air. I love that you're always a text away.

NEXT post - in the next week hopefully. It will stray away from the R/K twi world and focus on some real life bliss but I think you might enjoy it quite the same! As always, comments are bliss and let me know you're all out there xx ]