the 2011 MTV MOVIE AWARDS - woah

[WARNING: this post contains more F-Bombs than usual because it was inspired by Rob. Don't say I didn't warn you.]

Remember that time that the MTV Movie Awards were pretty much MADE by Rob.... And Kristen looked beyond gorgeous... And Jason Sudekis owned hosting?

Yeah.

Inappropriately Hilarious Rob? CHECK

Gorgeous Kristen? CHECK

Sudakis being awesome? CHECK

How do I put THAT into one post?

*shudders*

I don't even know WHERE to start. As I write this, I seriously haven't decided if I should just go award by award OR just get straight to the point...

Screw it.

LET'S GET STRAIGHT TO THE "MOTHERFUCKING" POINT (see what I did there?)

GOLDEN

I know that I went into the awards wanting, hoping, WISHING, Twilight wouldn't win everything. Because let's face it, we have TWO more movies to go. If Twilight keeps winning we'll be lucky if MTV doesn't cancel the award show because its totally just become the Twilight Awards READ: obviously they WONT but you get what I mean.

BUT let's face it - when Rob won Best Actor right away, followed by Best Fight not long after - which SERIOUSLY - Inception deserved to win that BUT Rob made up for it with THIS classic line...

"I bit your head off and now you're pregnant."

WHICH led to this ABSOLUTE perfection of a facepalm delivered by Kristen:

OWNING the Facepalm

SO I'm not entirely complaining that Rob won Best Fight. And preggo Bryce looked really pretty and Xavier was the usual fuckhawt - like woah.

Bryce you're a lucky woman

But - wait, where was I going with this? OH. RIGHT. As SOON as those two awards went to Rob (ESPECIALLY Best Fight) I knew it was about to become -the Twilight Awards.

But by the time the Best Kiss award rolled around, well, it was pretty hard to complain about the Twilight trend. Because let's face it. If Rob and Kristen DIDN'T win - there would have been hell to pay.

BUT did he REALLY have to kiss Taylor?

SERIOUSLY?

This time around it was ME going like THIS:

The only aspect of this unexpected acceptance speech which did happen to please me was Rob's perfect delivery of the words

"I'm wanna take you backstage"

Well to that I have nothing to say except YOU BETTER BE FUCKING HER BACKSTAGE AFTER PULLING A STUNT LIKE THAT ROB.

*clears throat*

At least the time you DID spend on stage with Kristen resulted in these gorgeous captures...

I suppose I'll forgive him.

Why? Because soon after we went through a few other less important awards read: ones twilight wasn't nominated for, Rob delivered absolute fucking perfection when it came time to award the lovely Reese Witherspoon with her MTV Generation Award.

"I didn't cut you out. But I did fuck you!"

I DIE

Seriously. There is nothing I love more than inappropriate (YET SO APPROPRIATE) droppings of the F-Bomb. THIS was absolute perfection. And Reese seemed to eat that shit up.

Of course next came what the whole world was waiting for....

Was Taylor there? Hmm didn't notice

BREAKING DAWN TRAILER

(except oh WAIT - we all saw it EIGHT hours earlier)

Kristen "Rob EVERYONE watched it - where were YOU?"

I'm pretty sure that when the trailer dropped online, I was at work. And I'm pretty sure the door to my office shut prettyfuckingfast before I proceeded to flail about, combust, die, revive, then do it all over again.

WHAT IS LIFE?

Really Summit?

You're seriously trying to kill me aren't you?

And then as if THAT didn't kill me - THIS did. WHY? Because I am a sucker for these kinds of situations.

WHY CANT I WAKE UP TO YOU?

@kate_suena gets it.

I mean basically the entire honeymoon just... woah.

Gorgeous Honeymoon is Gorgeous

And how is bride Bella so pretty?

WHY IS NOVEMBER SO FAR AWAY?

I think in a matter of three days, this trailer has been viewed by me FAR more than any of the other three trailers EVER. #truestory

And THEN our girl won the Best Female Performance and in absolute awkward, nervous Stew perfection - OWNED the stage AND the award.

"you're fucking perfect to me"

YES. That is how it is done people.

And Natalie Portman don't even try to bitch about her calling you out. CLEARLY you only started dating your co-star cause you saw KStew do it first. [and this is coming from a total Natalie Portman lover - Garden State & Closer are two of my all-time favorites. And yeah I'm kidding about her dating her baby daddy cause Kstew did it. Kinda. Sorta. Well - who knows.]

So by the time Gary Busey rolled out in a hamster ball... which might I add was WINNING at it's best...


And OF COURSE Eclipse won Best Movie - BIG SURPRISE - again, don't mind me, I wanted The Social Network to win so yeah, let me sulk.

BUT Eclipse winning meant some perfect shots of the cast.... as well as some tender moments between only the hottest couple on the face of the earth...

I love this shot of Kristen & Bryce

gorgeous

oh rob.
you gots the look of love

LOVE them




"you say it best - when you say nothing at all"

So yeah - IN CONCLUSION.

MAYBE the show could have been funnier. MAYBE the set was like a really crazy trip on acid to Narnia. MAYBE Bieber decided he was cool enough to exit from backstage to accept his award [pukes] while embracing his inner Miami Vice. MAYBE we never got the highly anticipated R/K kiss we wanted. And MAYBE everyone WAS "chocolate wasted" on stage resulting in innapropriate F-Bombs, werd-vomit, and backstage funsies.

I still loved it.
No regrets.

AND to anyone who was still disapointed this afternoon? How could you possibly STILL be disapointed after Kristen delivered stunning perfection in the UK this afternoon? And oh yeah - Garrett was there too.

how are you so perfect?

oh hai there sexy

simply stunning

Until next time, remember - "tequilla is like a Lays chip - you can never have just one."

[A/N: HUGE shout out to the lovely Jessie (@sianria) who volunteered to be my partner in crime for this years MTV Movie Awards. She basically made THE best homemade salsa on the planet. I kid you not. She also put up with any and all hyperventilating and that's why I love her.

To @j_carroll7 and @tiybor - I seriously do not know what I would do without your incredibly perfect tumblrs to snag pictures (and in this case gifs) from. YOU make blogging x10000 times easier. Seriously. Mad love to both of you.

Lastly - welcome ALL new followers! Please feel free to leave some love and say hello! I'd love to hear from you!

Next post - I think it's gonna be a fic rec! Stay tuned. - C xx]