2009 MTV Movie Awards aka If I could Jizz in my Pants, I would have

WARNING: This post will be (1) very picture heavy and (2) contain the words *flails* and EPIC Fail way too many times.

You've been warned!

I was going to wait until tomorrow to do this. You know, get my thoughts organized.

But MTV is re-airing the awards back to back so I'm watching it again and realized, I can totally do this post tonight. If I forget anything, be sure I will mention it tomorrow!

And... here... we go....


(1)

Leighton Meester
You are gorgeous and I love you.
Some might call this dress bold.
I call it freaking amazing.
Besides you're Blair Waldorf.
You could rock a paper bag.
But don't, cause you know....
you're so much prettier than that.

(2)

Rumer Willis
As Always You Are....
EPIC FAIL.

(3)

Vanessa Hudgens
I think you're super hot.
I also think you rocked this dress.
Others might disagree but...
I'm pretty sure at least Zac and I agree.
ALSO.
How much did I laugh when Andy Samberg said,
"Raise your hand if you're boning Zac Efron!"

(4)

Hayden Pannetiere
I loved this dress.
I also loved your thug vulgarness.
Apparently dating a men who's like 12 yrs older
taught you a thing or two!

(5)

Megan Fox
I really don't think you're hot anymore.
You know what else?
EPIC FAIL.

Now onto BEAUTIFUL Twilight people because in case you didn't notice, Twilight DOMINATED this year!

Ashley Green
You already know I love you.
You already know I want to be friends with you fo realz.
What you don't know...
Is that I think you rocked this look.
Now can we go shopping together?

Mr. & Mrs. Cullen
You two are hot.
No wonder you have hot unrelated children.
ps: Esme (Elizabeth Reeser) I love your dress.
Can I have it?

Here's a nominee for Best WTF Moment.
Billy Zane and Catherine Hardwick?
I'm sorry.
I find it weird the fandom of my 13 yr old life (Titanic)
is now colliding with
the fandom of my 25 yr old life (Twilight)

Cam Gigandet
You are the Sex.
Truly.
And you and your baby mama were SO cute together.
It made me go 'awwww' and semi-flail.
Only semi tho because I only full on *flail* for Rob.
Sorry.
You're still really hot tho.

KStew.
I really don't want to have to say this but...
epic fail?
I say it nicely and not in cap locks.
I still love you tho.

*runs away before she thinks inappropriate thoughts*
Taylor looks handsome.
Not the Sex.
Cause ya know, he's 17

And the moments of the show that caused me to squeal and jump around like a small child....

Rob winning Best Breakthrough Male
I love this picture because I love Jonah Hill.

Oh hey there gorgeous.
I love you.
And I love that blue jacket.
*flails*

Best Kiss aka *flailing at its best*

So I pretty much squealed like a monkey in heat
when Rob announced he had to take his gum out for this.
KStew... seriously?
How the hell do you turn away from THAT!

Best Fight.
Two hot men = *flailing*
Rob thanking his stunt double ?
Pretty sure I want to marry you even more now.

ALSO.

I couldn't find pictures for the following highlights but they needed to be mentioned.

- Bruno's ass ending up in Eminems face? Priceless. It pretty much means we can expect Slim Shady's next single to be wishing death upon Sasha Baron Cohen because Eminem can't take a freakin joke.

- Keifer Sutherland, Never in my life have you made me laugh but tonight, not only did you make me laugh, you left me in tears. Good work.

- Zac Efron - buy a comb. I'm sure you can afford one. If not, fingers work? Just look at RPatz.

- Andy Samberg you were fantastic. Seriously. Can we be friends in real life? I think we'd have a lot of fun!

Alright. That is all. Except for you know, the official New Moon trailer. Do yourself a favor and watch it. It's pretty much the most tantalizing thing EVER.

I work and I Twihard; it's what I do

SO it's the weekend and naturally I spent my Friday night doing what I love to do on Friday nights that I'm not working at the Taco Stand.

Go see a good movie!

Well, did I ever see on for the books last night. Drag me to Hell anyone?

Seriously, do yourself a really REALLY big favor. Don't! Go! See! This! Movie!

Sure it was absolutely fantastic - Sam Raimi is a sheer genius. Sure it was probably one of the best scary movies I have seen in like - my life - but it still doesn't abolish the fact that I was literally jumping out of my seat, CRYING, I was so scared.

And if you don't know me, I don't scare easily. Only three movies have previously caused me to be terrified in a theatre (The Ring, 28 Days Later, The Exorcist) and NONE of those left me crying.

Cause really, how could this woman NOT scare the living daylights out of you?



And really, this was pretty much me in the movie. You know, the girl screaming for dear life? I was starting to wish someone would Drag me out of the Damn Theatre at this point.


ANYWAY. That was That. Don't go see it. If you do, bring a poop bag. Maybe even a vomit bag. And I totally warned you so don't come crying to me when you can't sleep at night. Kthx.



On to more beautiful, non-scary things.....

This photo literally kills me.
I *love* it.
November why aren't you here yet?

Oh, right, yes.
This kills me too. ALL over again.
*reminds herself that occasionally her bf IS that passionate too*

Oh hey there bb.
That eyebrow thing you did there...
You know...
Before you said 'kiss me?' all sex kittenish?
That was hot!
No wonder RPatz loves you in the real life.
You do the 'eyebrow thing'
And then he does the 'RPatz thing' that I can only dream of.

RPatz could you be any sexier?
Yes, you probably can.
Cause every time I think you're the most uber hot ever.
You go and blow me away all over again.
*flails*

Is it wrong that I'm seriously considering ordering this?
I love it. I loved it in the movie.
I would love it on me.
I'm just fearful that $64 will turn into a $1000 with duties.
Crap.
Will that stop me? Probably not.

LASTLY, are any of you watching this season of The Bachelorette? I have the opportunity to get some inside scoop but I'm not sure if any of you are watching it (especially after the last Bachelor debacle)

So let me know! I aim to deliver :)

If this keeps up, I may have to quit my job and become a Twilight hermit

Seriously.

I am dead.




Edward and Bella are totally going to be making out like ALL the time in New Moon. I can see it all now 'Alice Style'.
Except you know, when he leaves, cause Edward was epic fail for half of New Moon and made Bella cry but its ok, I got over it.

*watches trailer preview AGAIN mid posting and flails all over again*

See the full thing Sunday night on the MTV Movie Awards OR online at 10:45 Est!!!

ZOMG

Late for work.

Went to check ohnotheydidn't.livejournal.com for all of my celeb gossip before leaving for work. Its essential.

Saw THIS.

*UTTER FLAILS*

SERIOUSLY. Why can't it be November?

Why did they put an H&M in our mall?

Seriously.

Life was much easier BEFORE there was an H&M in our mall.

Until May 14th, I could go to the mall for something simple such as a birthday card, orange julius, paper etc. without making any other unecessary purchases.

NOW, I go into shopping frenzy upon arriving at the mall. I still park at Walmart and yet somehow always find myself down at the very opposite end of the mall shopping at H&M.

LUCKILY, I show tremendous responsibility. This was demonstrated yesterday.

I went to the mall for THESE items.

1) Starbucks coffee. It's essential.
2) Victoria Secret Beauty Rush Coconut Lotion
(because a friend has it and she smells wonderful all the time)
3) Maybeline AirBrush cause it's the bomb.

I left the mall with all of THIS!


FOR REAL. I may have demonstrated responsibility at H&M. See those hoop earrings? They were my only H&M purchase. Go me!

Didn't show much responsible spending everywhere else though.

Here is my rationalizing for everything else.

1) Victoria Secret Beauty Rush Coconut 3 in 1.
I love the smell. That is a given. So how could I resist another product that smells exactly the same but not only serves as a body wash, bubble bath, AND shampoo!? Not possible.

2) H&M magazine.
I'll admit. It was free.

3) H&M hoop earrings.
Cause I thought they'd look hot at work.

4) DVDs.
Really who can't resist the $5 bin at Wal-Mart. Its the death of me everytime.

It all went downhill when I noticed Accepted. I love love LOVE this movie but don't own it. Now I do.

Then I noticed John Tucker Must Die. Its a guilty pleasure. It cracks me up. I also have a major girly crush on Sophia Bush. So what?

THEN I saw Killer Movie. Never heard of it but I was pretty sure hottie Paul Wesley who happens to play hottie vampire Stefan in the new CW show Vampire Diaries was in it. This was a necessary 'obsession-related' purchase. You know, to prepare for the dork that's going to emerge when the first episode of Vampire Diaries airs.



Enough shopping ranting.

I am disgustingly in love with True Blood
season 2 posters.
For Real.
*flails*
I bet it does hurt so good.

How cute is this?
KStew.AshleyGreen.DakotaFanning.
BFFs.
Lets hope Dakota doesn't go sleeping with Rob.
KStew might not be so BFF with her then.

This is just an observation but when filming a movie,
where you portray a dead person/vampire....
Shouldn't you NOT be tanning while filming?
Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Still love you Ashley. You are the cute.

Here is someone who clearly did NOT tan in Cannes.
Also, you are the sex.
I would very much like your shirt to just "fall off" right now.
Kthx.

It may have been 30 degrees but I've got other reasons to swoon

SO I had just about given up on this little blog. I wasn't sure if anyone was even reading it. I'm sure there was the possibility of lurkers and if you are a lurker and you love my blog, please comment once to let me know you are out there.

Seriously.

I'll do a happy dance.

I realize that you won't see said happy dance but trust me. There will be one.

But my dearest friend Ms. Leeman mentioned that I needed to update and I realized that there were in fact some friends who still read this so I decided to post again.

Comments are like Lifes in Mario Brothers. They keep the posts comin.


So today it was literally 30 degrees out. HELLO SUMMER, HOW I MISSED THEE!

Instead of going to the beach, I decided to go to Hopewell Rocks with a darling friend Mr. Kwan. You see, when we watched Twilight together back in November, we agreed that La Push sort of resembled the Hopewell Rocks. We were determined to visit asap but seeing as that was November, the park was closed and it was freezing, this plan on came through today.

Of course, Pocket Edward was on hand.

Still no sparkle. Thats ok.
Plenty of BIG rocks to look at instead.

Pocket Edward wanted his picture in the Bay of Fundy.
Instead he got splashed, wet, and cold.

He was not very impressed.

Now onto rants that I honestly had with myself this week either outloud or in my head.

1)

So my heart literally stopped when I saw this.
No more fakes.
No more photo shopped fan stuff.
THIS.
Is the Real Deal.

Official 'New Moon' poster.

Summer I realize you just arrived.
But oh man I can't wait for November.

2)

KStew I DO love you.
I DO think you're pretty.
I DO admire your 'I just don't care' style.
I DON'T think you are getting enough sleep.
I DO think you're bangin' Rob.
I DON'T think its helpin your looks.
I DO think you need to stop tweezing your brows.
That is all.
PS: GET SOME SLEEP.
Or Atleast some good cover up.

3)

Hello Rob in Cannes.
No wonder Brad and Angelina invited you to join
in on their fancy dinner party.
They're hot and you're hot.
Naturally you people should all party together.

4)

Ok now you're just TOO damn hot.
Seriously. How are you that gorgeous?
*flails*

5)

Lastly.
Totally just saw this.
Totally sucked in my lower right hand corner.
Need to buy new Entertainment Weekly.
Will drool over said photo.

Also, is that big picture on the left a picture
from Bella's birthday party?
Ummm, I think so!!!!
*squeals*

That is all. I promise to post soon. Maybe it will be non-Twilight related too. It's a stretch.
But I might be able to swing it.

PS: cannot.freakin.wait.for.this.show.SRSLY.

I did not disapear into a black hole Star Trek style

I realize it has been forever since I have posted.

I honestly don't have an excuse. I sort of kind of want to try and come up with a clever one. You know, something along the lines of :

- sucked into a black hole in the universe before being saved by the Enterprise, brought back to life by Capt. James Kirk by means of one hot passionate kiss and dropped back on planet earth just this morning.


- bitten by a vampire and have spent the past few weeks in 'newborn' state, unable to be around humans, laptops, babies etc.




- swine flu overcame me and I became another statistic. its hard to update a blog when you are in a full body protective gear A La Outbreak.



- Pocket Edward and I got lost in the woods and only found our way out this afternoon. Good thing he's a good hunter.

So I will leave you to decide WHICH of the above scenarios you feel REALLY happened. I should probably admit that it could very likely be none of them.

But ya know. Wouldn't it be cool if it WAS one those?

K maybe not the swine flu.

You know what I mean. K I go now....

Lastly, how wickedly amazing is it that SUMMER is SO here. *loves it*