Because sometimes I wish I was Nancy Botwin....

ummm...

EXCITED? YES?!

excuse me while I go hide under a rock anxiously until June 8th. feel free to send diet coke and cookies to me while I'm under there.

kthxbye.

A few random things to wrap up the weekend....

WARNING: This post is pretty much going to be ALL over the place.

1. Kellan Lutz.

Seriously? Why are you pulling the Wacko Jacko?
Rob doesn't even pull this stunt yet and no offense
but he is WAY more popular than you are.
Edward = thousand times greater than Emmett
No offense.
also no offense to the Emmett lovers.
I'm just Team Edward, you already know this cause
you read my blog.
nuff said.

2. The Apatow family

It still amazes me that you are all a family
and that I didn't know it until like a month ago.
Keep being beautiful.

3. Efron & Hudgens

Seriously. How are you guys so cute together?
Vanessa you're hot. I'm jealous.
Zac you're hot. I'm jealous of your shades.
I'm also jealous of the way he holds you.

OH and this very sexy ankle hold thing he is doing.
Seriously. *flails*

4. RPatz & Nikki Reed

Rob are you looking to bite her neck?
Are you two boning? Are you boning KStew?
Are you boning BOTH?
Really, I'd like to know. It causes me great distress.
You know, like, not knowing and all.
GREAT distress.

5. KStew & RPatz

KStew it doesnt even bother me that you are kinda
fug right now cause I don't blame you.
I would want to blend in too.
Just tell me one thing.
Does you being beside Rob mean
you two are having 'intercouse' as your character
would cringe at me saying in Adventureland?
Cause THAT would be fantastic.
Kthxbye.

6. RPatz

You.ARE.Gorgeous.
Nuff said.
oh and maybe I love you.
Not maybe though.
Like I really do.

Didn't you hear? I'm totally into curling now

Well I hope all of you had a wonderful Easter. I hope that several things happened for you:

1) That you got lots of chocolate.
2) That you were surrounded by family and friends.
3) That you were surrounded by love.
4) That you got an Easter Lilly if you are like me and love them.
5) That you didn't get an Easter Lilly if you are NOT like me and think they smell like a funeral home.
6) Most importantly, that the Easter bunny found you and he didn't look like THIS:

For once, Fergie isn't the scariest looking
thing in a picture.
THIS bunny was at the WhiteHouse.
Seriously Obama?
Are you trying to terrify your children?

In other devastating news, other than the fact that there is a very good chance Obama's children are now terrified of the Easter bunny, the 2009 Ford's Men's Curling Championships have ended.

I am seriously depressed.

What a wonderful 9 days of meeting exciting people, curlers, and fans from around the world. Like, seriously.

Did this have anything to do with the fact that many of these curlers were disgustingly gorgeous? Pretty much.

I did manage to score a hot picture as well as quite a bit of alone time with my future husband, Swiss curler Jan Hauser.

His cheek kisses are pretty much sex in the form of a cheek kiss. *flails*

Unfortunately, I didn't get around to proposing. I think 2010 Olympics in BC will be more appropriate. Then I can plan the perfect proposal and learn to speak fluent Swiss.

dont mind the ickiness that is me in this picture.
it was not the greatest night due to *real* life reasons.
he does manage to make me go 'Edward Cullen who?' when near.

Speaking of Edward Cullen.....

The 'New Moon' set pics that have been floating around online pretty much make me *flail* every time I see a new one.

This is just one of many, many, many photos that make me want to reach into my computer and run my fingers through RPatz's hair *drools*



Things that don't make me drool?

THIS photo. Seriously. Rob is gorgeous and totally giving the camera/the reader 'Come hither' eyes.

Kat Dennings? Gross. You are not worthy of Rob in this picture. I am sorry. You are just not. Bugger off now. NOW. kthx.



I don't know at what point I went from going 'eeewww Zac Efron' to 'zomg he's so hot' but it happened and therefore, all I can say about this is........ *flails*




To Kat Dennings in the previous picture, I will never go from 'eeeew Kat Dennings' to 'zomg she's so pretty'. Ok? I just don't like you. You were way too whiney in 40yr Old Virgin for me to ever like you.

Apparently in England, men are walking around wearing these contacts which read 'Buy Twilight DVD' or something to that affect, dressed like Edward Cullen.

I have one word to say to that and I decided to photoshop this word into the picture.

Who honestly thought this was a good idea?
Were they on drugs? I think they were.
You should totally drugtest them.
Then fire them.
Or you can just fire them.

That is all. I am off to begin learning Swiss.

So I suddenly live a busy life... who would have thought?

So I'm pretty sure its been like a week since I posted. This probably has a lot to do with the fact that I started two new jobs in the past week.

As my apology, I bring you a very VERY picture heavy post with a little something for everyone.

Yes that does include YOU - the person sitting beside the dumpster behind Tim Hortons eating day old donuts.

As many of you in my real-world life know, I am currently working a 9 day stint at the 2009 Ford World Men's Curling Championships. Never in my life would I have thought I would get so into curling but there is a first for everything.

Today was particularly exciting BECAUSE:

This cat was there and no I don't mean
the actual kitten, I mean Stephen Harper.
Maybe the kitten was there, who knows.
I totally saw Prime Minister Harper tho! True story.
I also stuck my tongue out at him.
[good thing he was seated far away when I did so]
CREEPY

This is pretty much my future husband.
His name is Jan Hauser.
Crystal Hauser? It works, right?
He is from Switzerland and I'm pretty much
in love with him.
I am totally getting his autograph/proposing on Saturday.

Look who else wasn't scared to make an appearance.
Pocket Edward does 2009 World Men's Curling

Now onto other ramblings I have been dying to ramble about:

To all my TRUEBLOOD fans!
Things I love about this pic
1) Bill & Sookie LOVE each other for real.
2) This is at SantaMonica pier. My fave place ever.
3) I'm painfully jealous.
4) Bill shopped at BubbaGump [see his bag?]
5) I hope he bought the BubbaGump lipgloss.
It is mindblowingly awesome.

I love this rollercoaster.
I totally went on three times.
I love these two.
I love that SHE sat with HIS daughter.
so so freakin cute

Zuma might be the weirdest baby name EVER.
But how freaking cute is this picture?
It makes my ovaries dance.
*STOP dancing ovaries.

This guy is ridiculously hot.
Taylor Kitsch aka Gambit in Wolverine
aka THE sex
he sort of looks like my future Swiss hubby but
with long hair *swoons*
I'd like him to take me to see live music
on a first date anytime.
Seriously. Call me Taylor.
You are the one Taylor in my fandom life
I can not feel gross about swooning over because
you are over the age of 18.
Sorry Taylor Lautner. Your time will come

Demi Moore likes to post a lot of pics on Twitter.
Like A LOT.
How freaking cute are these two?
Seriously. I wanna be that cute with a guy.

Lastly, reasons why this picture of Heidi Montague is
an EPIC FAIL.
-she is drinking Evian and not Fiji water
seriously Heidi, everyone in LA drinks Fiji water
-your bag is hideous
did you design it? it wouldn't surprise me
-your sneakers/heels
I have no words for those but *gag*
-your watch
it sort of looks like a slot machine in vegas.
even I don't think that's cool

A collection of images I felt the need to RANT about

Firstofall. I hope those of you who frequent my blog know that you can see bigger versions of all of the pictures posted on here if you click on them (unless the picture was small to begin with). Which means, yes, you can see even bigger pictures of RPatz to drool over.

That comment was totally for you Leeman.

Secondofall, I hope none of you were taken by any April Fool's enthusiasts. I myself was only taken by online ones. Speaking of which: to the JERKFACE at 2snaps.tv who felt that it would be "fun" to post an article informing the world that Stephanie Meyer was found dead - NOT FUNNY. YOU ARE A SICK JERKFACE. There's enjoying April Fools Day and then there is taking it one step too far. YOU took it a thousand steps too far. I hope it led you to a cliff and you fell off. Oooops. How do you like me now?

Now I bring you images I stumbled upon this week that I feel the need to rant about.

Because I CAN.

So The Hills season 5 promo photos came out yesterday. They were all kinds of craziness. What you won't see here are pictures of the lovely ladies of The Hills. I promise you they were all pretty. Even Audrina - and I don't say that very often because she is an airhead.

The men on the other hand and by men I mean other jerkfaces that annoy me to no end had VERY interesting, creepy, photos that look like images Chris Hansen and John Walsh would show viewers on their shows.

Exhibit A:

Justin Bobby
Sometimes I understand why people think you
are hot. You do have your moments. I suppose
you have good features but so did Ted Bundy
and look how that worked out for like ALL the
women he dated.

Exhibit B:

Are you trying to look like Benicio Del Toro?
No? Maybe a drug cartel lord?
Are you trying to have RPatz hair?
I'm sorry if you are cause it's totally not gonna
happen and if by some chance it did, I still
wouldn't like you or think you are hot.

Exhibit C:

Spencer Pratt
You creep me out more than June Bugs
and those things scare the living shit out of me.
Are you trying to look like your the leading
actor on a Soap Opera? If so good job. You
totally look the part and by part I mean
evil, conniving, manipulating arrogant ASS.
Be useful and go organize your TIVO.

Exhibit D:

CREEEEEPY.
That is all.

Now on to merrier non psycho-killer ish things.

Exhibit E:

THIS little gem below is the promo image
for the new season of Tudors. I don't watch
this show but can I just say that this
is the sexiest, most suggestive campaign
like EVER?
*flails*

Exhibit F:

I love love LOVE when my fandoms collide.
Apparently these two bbs were friends
once upon a time.
In case you are confused the fandoms I speak of
are Twilight & Gossip Girl.
She is Alice.
He is Nate.
They are ADORABLE.

Source

Exhibit G:

Pretty much every time I watch Twilight I can
be heard going *squee* 'I love Billy Black'. Why?
Because he is adorable
As is this adorable picture of him and RPatz, who
looks delicious as per usual.

Exhibit H

Another cutesy picture of my two favorite
people and Billy Black. Also, KStew actually looks
17 in this picture and I don't find she looks
17 a whole heck of a lot.
RPatz your hair was the sex in this scene.
Just so you know.

BYES for now.

To those of you who have been after me to post more frequently, I think I am delivering. Yes?