There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to survive a horror movie...

It's been a few days since I posted; blame it on 2009 Oscar bliss.

I totally saw Friday the 13th the other night with my darling friend Ashley. It was SO good. I love a good horror film and I love a good horror film remake even more. This did not disapoint.


Oh hey there bbs... You should have known that taking your clothes off would innevitably lead to a run in with this guy. How many Friday the 13th's have they made and the blondes still haven't figured it out. That being said, as much as I like to think I could survive a horror film, I fear I'd only give strength to the blonde girl makes one stupid mistake and ends up dead theory.

one more thing about Friday the 13th.

Jared Padelecki you are the sex.

so what did you do Sunday night?

Can I just start off by saying....

oh . my . god .

What an AMAZING night. Honestly, I was absolutely glued to the tv from 7pm until 1am. Half a jar of salsa, half a bag of tostitoes, and half a tub of icecream later, I was BLISSFULLY happy with the way the evening went. I couldn't have been more excited if I had of been there.

ok.. well that's a lie. but you know what I mean.

Where do I even begin?

Red Carpet 2009:


One of many, many Golden Girls last night. Freida Pinto. Simply. Irressistable. This dress was GORGE.



Robert Downey Jr. Where do I begin? I was never really a fan of you. I didn't see Iron Man : apparently I should have and apparently you were awesome in it, for this please forgive me. Your crazy sex addiction aside, you looked pretty darn good last night at the awards. Your wife? Gorgeous! I think it's obvious WHY you're always thinking about sex.

Pennelope Cruz. One word. BEAUTIFUL. I loved her vintage dress.


Little Miley Buckteeth Cyrus. You know I don't like you. I honestly cringed when I saw the trailer to your latest movie last week. Speaking of which, your comment on the red carpet about how next year you hope to be at the Oscars for 'your' movie because it's going to blow everyone away and is actually very deep and TOTALLY Oscar worthy.

PLEASE. Go play Hannah Montana with Joe Jonas and get over it.

PS: I did love your dress. The press may have hated it. It may be on the Worst Dressed List. But I loved it. And so did Brittany Leeman. And really that's all that matters.


Judd Apatow. You are the director of all of my favorite funny movies and therefore you rock in my book. Your Pineaple Express creation for the show last night, left me in tears I laughed so hard.

I did not know you were married to Leslie Mann who is honestly, so underrated. She is hallarious in all of your movies and I love love love her. You two are cute. Kthx.



Beyonce. I do not like you, nor have I ever. You did not help matters by wearing a curtain to the Oscars. That is all.


Robert Pattinson. I love you. You were dead sexy last night. I saw that you did not have a date. Why did you not call me? I had the perfect Valentino dress and everything.

Let the Show Begin.....

I will try to be as brief as possible. I apologize because knowing me. It will be the farthest thing from brief.

Hugh Jackman - you done done done me. and by that I mean you rocked. Anne Hathaway, I did not know you can sing. You blew me away. Please keep singing. Kthx.

How beautiful was the set this year? Honestly! So elegant.

Jen : Did you see the looks Angie was giving me? Bitch was fierce.
John : I did. I did. Can we go make love like I describe in one of my million songs now?
Jen : Ok but did you see Brad totally wanting to boink me again because I haven't popped twenty gazillion babies out of me?
John : I did. Now let's go make love. I'll never let your head hit the pillow without my hand behind it.

First of all. The camera cutting to Angelina and Brad when Jen was presenting pretty much MADE my night. Angelina throwing her head back laughing and smiling. Seriously? Jen Aniston is SO much hotter than you. Get over it.

Wall-E winning Best Animated Film only confirmed what I already know. I have to watch this movie. I'm just not looking forward to crying through the whole thing cause I totally will.

Best Makeup. *coughs* excuse me? Did you not see The Dark Knight and how Heath Ledger looked scary and not sexy? Yes. You only made Brad Pitt look old. That's not that hard, is it?

Rob Pattinson presenting? *flails* Did I mention how much I love you? Also how much it excited me that they showed Twilight like 3 times in the Romance montage.


Speaking of Rob. Thank you to whoever did the seating chart for last night and putting him behind Mickey Rourke in the 2nd row which meant seeing him ALL the time. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.

Ben Stiller. You crack me up. I love you. Joaquin Phoenix take note. We don't like the retired you, please come back to your normal hotness.

Jessica Biel. Get a hairdresser & a stylist.

Pineaple Express Sketch. oh. my. god. Not only is this one of my favorite movies, I never in a million years expected ANY mention of it at the Oscars. This pretty much made my night [on top of Jen getting snarked at by Angie and Rob being sexy behind Mickey Rourke]

Heath Ledger. You deserved it. So proud of you. I cried like a baby.

Some may have asked where my least favorite person in the world was last night. Tom Cruise. My response to that is 'Tom Cruise realized not only did his movie suck but he's basically an idiot.'

The rest of the night from Sound Mixing on pretty much turned into Slumdog Millionaire night. Bam. Bam. Bam. I was NOT complaining!

Kate Kate Kate. I love you so much. But why was your 'real' lover not there to see you win? *cough* Leonardo *cough*. You looked gorgeous. I highly think this will not be your last 'shampoo bottle.'

Sean Penn. I am happy for you. I wanted Mickey Rourke to win because his dog died and I felt bad for him but I'm glad you took home the gold and your speech was wonderful. I cried. So thx for that.



LASTLY, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. So so SOOOO excited. Ok so that picture was technically Danny Boyle winning Best Director. Oops. But I'm sure THAT was your similar reaction to your movie winning Best Picture. If you have not seen this movie, please go see ASAP. It's truly magnificent.

And that my dear friends, was me being 'brief'. Atleast the Oscars are only once a year. I could have gone on for hours about how truly great this years show was. Even Oprah today said that she has been watching the awards since she was 10 and this was by far the best year yet. I will be *squeeing* about it for days to come.

So until next year - when I'm sure Hannah Montana will be up for Best Picture - thats it for Oscar Post 2009!


My future adopted children most likely playing BrickBreaker on the Bberry at the Vanity Fair party. Or texting Miley Cyrus pictures back to Mumbai.

Lastly, because I loved it so so so much.

because there's not really anything to watch on tv tonight...............

KIDDING!!!


Ladies & Gents.... Its Oscar Night! In my opinion, quite possibly one of the best tv nights of the year.

After what proved to be an unforgettable Golden Globes award show in January, I wasn't exactly super excited for the Oscars. The Golden Globes have certain aspects that make it almost better than the Oscars BUT with all of the amazing movies out there right now, I think this years Oscars are going to be GOLDEN.

two words : Slumdog Millionaire

Just saw the littlest actors on the red carpet and they pretty much made my night. I want this movie to take the gold, so so SO freaking badly.

two more words : Robert Pattinson.

Mentally prepared to *swoon* over him followed by downing my sorrows in Ben&Jerry's because he will never be mine.

Jennifer Aniston is presenting, in the presence of Angie & Brad. That has JUICY written all over it. Guaranteed Jen will kill with her gorgeous looks and Angie will be all like 'BITCH'. Brad will be totally thinking 'ugh, I'd totally get with her again if I wasn't a daddy with twenty gazillion babies'. Meanwhile John Mayer will be mentally writting his next song about Jen.

Kristen Stewart is rumored to be presenting too! My Bella & Edward reunited at the Oscars. They will totally find a way to makeout somewhere's in the Kodak Theatre.

Anyway, the red carpet is far too beautiful for me to look away from right now, so I will end this post with my list of Oscar Predictions.

Oscar Post Tomorrow! I'll either be absolutely devastated because all of my favorite movies lost or ridiculously excited and jumping off the walls because the Oscars were AMAZING.

I WILL be continuing to *flail* over Rob Pattinson's sexiness.


Crystal's 2009 Oscar Predictions For Awards She Actually Cares About

Best Picture - Slumdog Millionaire
Best Actor - Mickey Rourke
Best Actress - Kate Winslet
Best Director - Danny Boyle
Best Supporting Actor - Heath Ledger
Best Supporting Actress - Marissa Tomei
Best Animated Film - Wall-E
Best Original Score - Slumdog Millionaire
Best Original Song - 'O Saya' Slumdog Millionaire
Best Sound Editing - The Dark Knight
Best Makeup - The Dark Knight

Let the GAMES BEGIN!


Edit: *flails*

cant freakin wait

So I will totally be posting a pre-Oscar rant sometime before Sunday. You know the usual rundown of who should win, who will win, and who I want to win.

The one movie, I am TOTALLY rooting for now, having seen it Tuesday is Slumdog Millionaire. It was - in my opinion - UNBELIEVABLE.

When I heard they are flying all of the little actors/actress all the way from Mumbai, India for the Oscars on Sunday, I pretty much did a happy dance. How cute will this little guy be in a tuxedo on the red carpet?

MTV You're An Utter Tease

Sooo.... MTV Movies Blog made an EXCITING announcement that at 10:oopm eastern tonight they would make a huge announcement regarding NEW MOON complete with an image.

Freaking out, excited that it was casting related or some early released promo photo done by the studio, it turns out that it was this.


So this ladies and gents is the Official title art. Which I might add, aired on Entertainment Tonight hours ago.

Sorry you lose MTV.

I will say this. I'm not sure how I feel about adding in the whole 'the Twilight saga' thing. We obviously know which book saga its from. I DO like the color though.

source

In other Twilight news today, OK Magazine released an article on upcoming things to look forward to in New Moon as its slated to begin production in March. Which I'm starting to seriously doubt because apparently the script isn't finished which confirms my biggest fear that this movie will be rushed for the sake of keeping the teenie boppers happy.

Apparently Rob Pattinson WON'T be singing in this movie/soundtrack * tears her heart out *

Does he not understand how many times I listen to 'Let Me Sign' and 'Never Think' on repeat? Please RPatz. Your perfectly dark and painfilled voice in 'Let Me Sign' honestly still gives me shivers.

Also would someone PLEASE tell us if Dakota Fanning has signed on or not? She's always 'blah blah blah I'd love to play Jane!' or 'Yay Twilight.... Oh no, I haven't ACTUALLY read the books'

A. definite. answer. please. And if it's no? Tell me WHO will play Jane. And Aro too while you are at it.

I end this post with a very quick but hallarious recap of New Moon - in case its been awhile since you read it. sorry its tiny - its as big as blogspot will let me make it :(

I do believe spawns of satan aren't always a bad thing

I really hate Tom Cruise. Like DESPISE Tom Cruise.


I liked him in Cocktail back in the day. My best friend Bailey and I used to play Cocktail in her basement; yah, we had a bar and used empty beer bottles filled with water. We had a pool table. We made screwdrivers and orgasms. Pretty much any drink that was made in the movie - we made it. We even took turns getting to be Tom Cruise's character...

Now fifteen years later, I absolutely hate the guy with a passion. I miss the Katie Holmes & Chris Klein days.

Nonetheless. I LOVE Suri Cruise. I think she is abso-freaking-lutely adorable.

Which is why I bring you this.


Source

Other things making me happy today. Robert Pattinson's hair is almost back to the way I love it. Unwashed & Tousled. *flails*

Source

Lastly, I'm really super sad to hear that Mickey Rourke's chihuaha Loki died today. I realize that the dog was 18 and had a very long and happy life with Mickey I'm sure. I also realize I didn't even know who Mickey Rourke was until all of this 'Wrestler' fame but still. Its just sad because he has seemed to have the dog EVERYWHERE with him. On Oprah. On The View. Award Shoes. Tres sad.

R.I.P. Mickey Rourke's Dog :(

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the most SHOCKING Bachelor finale ever may just take the cake afterall

So I woke up today wondering what topic would fuel my very first 'real post' - the one yesterday was merely an introduction. Then, a heated and morally awful story surrounding one of my favorite reality shows fell right into my lap. When I realized that my ridiculously awesome confident SuperSleuth had pieces of information that not even my very reliable, crack dealer ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com had available, well I was extremely excited.

So what is this disgustingly juicy piece of dirt?

If you're a fan of The Bachelor, this will definitely strike your interest. It may also cause you to never watch the show ever again - an oath many dedicated fans of the ABC show are declaring today following this news.

I should warn you - there are heavy heavy heavy SPOILERS ahead. So if you like the element of surprise, I'd navigate away from my page right now. Even if you do read what I have to say, I'm sure you will still have an element of surprise. It will probably be yourself throwing some object such as the remote, cell phone, drink at the tv in disgust when the episode does air.
So, lets get started shall we?

This is what we know for sure. All of the following has been confirmed by reliable sources, so don't hate me for thinking this is product of my own sleuthing.

In the Final Rose Ceremony in New Zealand, the lucky *winner* and I use this word lightly because seriously, this show is *suppose* to be real. It's people's real feelings. Winning just makes this sound like a big joke or game. After what I've read today, I'm starting to wonder.

So the winner is...... MELISSA! Big Shock right? It's not like it hasn't been very obvious since the first episode to all of those who watch religiously. For those shaking their heads thinking 'well how was it REALLY obvious' let's discuss the major hint/confirmation that ABC themselves was nice enough to give us at the start of the season.

So Melissa has a pinky ring that distinguishes her as a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. As SuperSleuth reports "they all get those rings... kinda like an X ring... you just always wear it" She also has two distinct freckles on her arm/wrist.



So for those you who are good at figuring at simple puzzles, the puzzle of who would go on to become Jason's fiancee was easily solved very very early on in the game. Time to watch anxiously each week watching their love story unfold. So why did any red flags get raised? Cause this is SO SO NOT like ABC.

We've seen enough Bachelors to know that the recipient of the final rose and the ridiculously priced engagement ring usually doesnt score major camera time until midway through the season. Think back to Matt and Shayne. She was very minimal in the first half of the season but when Matt eventually proposed, he went on to declare in later interviews that he'd always known it was Shayne. That they'd always had the most chemistry. Well trust me, I was a Shayne rooter but I NEVER saw that so-called chemistry until much later in the season. I was always waiting for the huge disapointment of watching her go home.

But since the second episode, Melissa has been front and center. Their chemistry has always been there. In other words, they were making us all in love with these two since episode one. Maybe a little too obvious?

So in two weeks, we'll arrive to the long awaited final rose ceremony. As SuperSleuth describes, it will be "twirly, twirly... I love you... kisses and lets have babies. Melissa is happy, Jason seems happy, Molly is pissed... but what can you do?"

Even in an interview on December 3rd, Jason describes himself as eing blissfully happy and engaged - complete with goofy big smile. Melissa's off work for awhile - also characteristic of the 'chosen one'. She gets to see Jason on weekends secretly, courtesy of ABC. Everything is wonderful, right?

WRONG

What Melissa DOESNT know that that when she is not visiting Casa De Jason in Seattle, playing with her new man and Ty..... Molly IS! Apparently, Jason has been secretly seeing Molly the whole time he was engaged to Mel. Something to do with not knowing if he was over her, ect. ect. Normal stupid male babble bullshit.

In January, Melissa gets a call from producers, requesting she come to LA to film the After the Final Rose Show. Exciting, right? You get to see your new fiancee, proudly display your new bling, suck faces with him in front of millions of viewers. Something to look forward to. So imagine her shock when she arrives and it's a closed set. No audience. No clue what the hell is going on. This all occured on Jan 23 or 24th and was taped, which is why this has been confirmed.

So on NATIONAL TV, Jason, "re-defines douchebaggery" says SuperSleuth. The tears and bloodshed will air on March 2nd, in front of millions of viewers when the asshole Jason takes back her bling and pretty much gets back with Molly.

An email leaked to Reality Steve the go to guy for all reliable reality tv gossip/spoilers, which proved Melissa had NO idea and that the producers of the show were behind the public break-up. The email was from Melissa to Jason, written the day after the taping of the After the Final Rose show were she was "bamboozlefucked". She asks why he lied to her when she asked if he still had feelings for Molly (one guess : because he's a GUY) and more importantly, why would he tell her all was well when he was planning on telling her otherwise on National Television (one guess : MONEY from ABC)

Jason's reply to said email, was that the show said he HAD to do it on TV if he was going to break up with her. These emails ARE Legit, written from their confirmed real email addresses. The reliable source that leaked them can't be named because of a break of contract.

That's what we do know for sure. The rest is all still up in the air. It's questioned whether this will even air now that the secret has gotten out. Does ABC really want to be responsible for airing such an awful humiliating episode? Or will ABC spin it in their favor, making Melissa look like the bad guy? The fact that Melissa knew NOTHING is just awful and wrong.

There are also rumors that this was all done to make way for Melissa to become the next Bachelorette. The obvious screencaps of Melissa getting proposed to since day one, only fueled viewers love for Melissa, leading us to feel even more for her when she get's her heartbroken, in turn, getting very excited when we heard she will be the next Bachelorette.

Think about it....
Brad choses no one, leaving a broken Deanna who goes from being the victim to the next contestant.
Deanna goes on to actually LET Jason propose before dumping his ass. Honestly. What girl would let a guy get down to propose THEN break his heart. This is also rumored to be ABC's doing.
Then, broken hearted Jason gets the chance to find true love again, becoming the next Bachelor only to break Melissa's heart.

You seeing the pattern?

Lastly, there is also speculation that MAYBE Melissa is a damn good actress and this is was all part of the masterplan. Some also hope and pray this is a big fat promotion lie made up by ABC to fool us, but people like SuperSleuth think its highly doubtful.

On a final note - for the Molly fans. You'll be happy to know that there is supposedly a AFTER the After the Final Rose show to air the night after the one where Jason publicly humiliates Melissa on live tv. He apparently proposes to Molly on this episode.

Douchebag. That is all I'm saying.

Oh. I'd also like to see Jason's ex-wife on this show. I used to think, 'aww poor divorced single Daddy.' I'm starting to think Mommy had reason to divorce Daddy.

b l i s s

What is B l i s s ?

To some, bliss is a beautiful sunset or a sip of a freshly brewed cup of coffee. Winning and achieving everything you've always dreamed of or being tangled in the sheets with the one person in the world you are truly meant to love. To others, it may be something so out of their reach, that they suffer through every day wishing for just one opportunity to experience it. Then of course , there is the textbook definition of bliss.

def : bliss n
1. extreme happiness
2. utter contentment or joy.

So what is it to me? Stick around and you'll surely find out. In the meantime, let me just say this.

I am a very passionate individual. I am passionate about everything in my life from the love I have for others in my life to the coffee I drink and the movies I watch. I told people for years that I would live in Las Vegas one day and I didn't fail to follow through on that promise to myself; I only wish the dream never had to end and that I was still there. I am ridiculously addicted to several things which will undoubtedly be mentioned on here daily:

* Love - especially its ability to toy with your heart and drive you absolutely mad.
* Twilight - and all things Twilight related
* Celebrity Gossip - its not like crack. it IS crack.
* Deliciously fun tv shows such as Weeds, Gossip Girl, True Blood, & Chuck.
* Movies & Movie Trailers - utterly addicted.
* Comments - They are love so please don't be shy.

Naturally, all of the above, make me blissfully happy. Which is pretty much where the title for my newest, latest blog arose from. So bookmark this page. Tell your friends if they happen to like blogs written by obsessed fangirls who can and will talk about all things movie & tv related (especially if they are Twilight fans). Lastly, as I said before, comments are love.